Dear Jennifer,

After a long and painful decision-making process, I think we’ve settled on Lydia and Quentin for our g/b twins.  Since the kids will get my husband’s last name, I’d like to honor my family in middle names.  My maiden name won’t work, and my parents don’t like their own first names.  I’m thinking of using my parents’ middle names as middle names for the twins.  Those names are Kay and Wayne.

Lydia Kay I like a lot.  Quentin Wayne, I don’t like at all.  I’m thinking maybe of altering them to Lydia Kaye and Quentin Wayde.  I’m getting lots of negative feedback on Wayde, though, as everyone suggests spelling it Wade.  I feel like that is getting too far away from their actual names.
I’m torn between whether honoring my parents means I should just stick with the originals, despite not being fond of Wayne, or if I’m worrying too much about it and Wade/Wayne are close enough…any advice?
Amy B.

Dear Amy,

Historically, “honoring” someone in the naming biz does not necessarily mean using their exact name.  In the Jewish culture, for example, you may not name a child after a living person.  So to honor a loved one who is still living, we use a similar name or name that starts with the same letter.

You have more leeway with middle names, also, since the child will not readily be identified with it and it will be rarely used.

So in conclusion, do what you want, and spell it the way you want to spell it. Beware of too much input.

Sincerely,

Jennifer

Jennifer Moss (she/her) is the founder of BabyNames.com, author of The Baby Names Workbook, and Producer of The Baby Names Podcast. Jennifer is widely regarded as the leading expert on popular baby name trends and the naming process, serving as the authoritative source on the subject for national and international media.

Jennifer entered the tech arena in the 80s as a software developer and database architect, and became a pioneer in the Internet industry. In addition to operating BabyNames.com, Jennifer owns a web development agency in central California.