Dear Grandma Maggie,

I am 24 years old. My ex-fiance is 29 and he left my child and me when she was 3 months old. Now he calls everyday and tells us that he loves us and misses her. He has also moved in with another woman. Is he scared of responsibility? Is their anything you can tell me?

Dear Friend,

There is no way I can ever tell you the “whys” of what people choose to do. I don’t know your child’s age now, but I do know that she is always entitled to have her biological father in her life. That man is part of her and she will have a need to see him respected no matter what your relationship is with him. It would be wise of you to put that in place as early as possible with her, allowing him to see her at regulated intervals. However, it might be better to not allow him to use this to manipulate you into thinking he will now be an excellent mate and/or father. You can take that issue up once he is not living with another woman, but on his own. And I don’t mean living with you. He should have time to work on his abilities as a mate and father without it being in the same house as you. What happens after that will be up to both of you.

My best,
Grandma Maggie

Peggy Moss, AKA "Grandma Maggie," was was a partner in BabyNames.com after she retired as an early childhood educator. Her Q&A column "Ask Grandma Maggie" is now republished with the best of Grandma Maggie’s parenting and childcare advice. She has written many eBooks about parenting issues, available at Amazon.com.

Peggy, who passed in 2014, was mother to Sue, Kate, Jennifer, and Mallory Moss, and grandmother to Ike, Peter, Miranda, and Veronica.