I have a eleven year old daughter who has always been mature for her age but does not trust anyone. We went to see the dentist recently and the man working on her teeth started to lower the chair while she was laying down on it and she flipped! Then the nurse there tried to give her an x-ray by putting something in her mouth and she was crying and kicking. In a few weeks she’s having surgery. I don’t know what to do because she can’t relax and doesn’t trust a soul besides me, her dogs, and her grandmother. This all started happening before school ended and she barely talks to her friends! If they call she hangs up or says, “Hey what’s up? Oops, sorry, gotta go bye” and hangs up real fast.

Eva

Dear Eva,

It does sound like your daughter has a problem that could possibly be helped. Start first with your pediatrician or whatever doctor your daughter sees. Perhaps if her doctor is involved in the surgery you can explain it to him/her at that time. Once it’s determined there is no physical cause, then it’s time to pursue the possibility of it being emotional and see a professional for help.

I don’t think you need worry about the surgery, because they usually give the patient something that helps keep them calm before it happens, but do explain your daughter’s problem to the medical people involved in this event.

Kindest regards,
Grandma Maggie

Peggy Moss, AKA "Grandma Maggie," was was a partner in BabyNames.com after she retired as an early childhood educator. Her Q&A column "Ask Grandma Maggie" is now republished with the best of Grandma Maggie’s parenting and childcare advice. She has written many eBooks about parenting issues, available at Amazon.com.

Peggy, who passed in 2014, was mother to Sue, Kate, Jennifer, and Mallory Moss, and grandmother to Ike, Peter, Miranda, and Veronica.