My husband and I moved across the country for his job last month. The same day he got the job offer I found out I was pregnant with our first child. We got married this past July, so we are newlyweds and I am 3 months along. It has been a very rough adjustment on both of us. He is working and I am not and I am worried about the implications of me being pregnant affecting my ability to find a job. We also live in a bilingual community now, and I know only English so it will be hard for me to find work for that reason, too.

We have a two year old puppy that we love, but he has been acting out a little bit since we’ve been here. I think he needs more play time with other dogs, but there are also no dog parks here so I am really at a loss. I think it might be a good idea to get another puppy so he would have a companion to keep him busy while we have our baby on the way, and once the baby is born.

My husband is also gone 2-3 weeks out of every month for job training across the country so I am alone a lot. I should also mention that even being here for almost 2 months I don’t know anyone yet, and have had a very hard time making friends or meeting people in general. Anyways, my husband is skeptical about getting another dog along with all the changes in our life, but since it will be solely my responsibility with him being gone all the time, I think it’s a perfectly fine idea. Do you think adding a dog and a baby to the mix in the next few months is too much?


Dear Friend,

My daughter came up with this idea, which I think is great. Since adding another dog at this time would be double the work, plus double the cost for food and vet bills, not to mention boarding the animals if you want to go back and visit the folks where you lived before, then why not try this.

Ask your vet of (s)he knows of a group dog training place that will provide both you and your dog with an opportunity to meet others.

It might be a good idea for you to think about a second pup if you were not so far along in your pregnancy, but you soon could be tired as entering the third trimester might take a lot of energy.

Another thing for you to do that might make you feel more connected is visit your local library. They do more than provide books, no little thing in itself, but they offer other things, too. Some are in the evening and some in the daytime and that could be a wonderful way to meet others with like interests.

I know this is a difficult time. BabyNames.com does have a board where mothers and others meet to discuss many issues. This could be a good support for you with your husband away so much.

MY best,
Grandma Maggie


Old woman smiling

Peggy Moss (she/her), AKA "Grandma Maggie," was was a partner in BabyNames.com after she retired as an early childhood educator. Her Q&A column "Ask Grandma Maggie" is now republished with the best of Grandma Maggie’s parenting and childcare advice. She has written many eBooks about parenting issues, available at Amazon.com.

Peggy, who passed in 2014, was mother to Sue, Kate, Jennifer, and Mallory Moss, and grandmother to Ike, Peter, Miranda, and Veronica.