Hi Jennifer,

My wife and I reached an impasse on the middle name for our boy.  We like Micah for a first name, and my last name sounds like Micelli.

I would like to honor my late grandfather, Casper as the mn.  She wants to honor her late grandfather, Allen as the mn.  She recommended using both as middle names as long as Allen comes first.  My fear is that the second middle name will often be neglected for its inconvenience and feel it would be a slight towards my grandfather, whom she never knew.  Seeing as there’s no guarantee that we may have another boy, we’ve both stood firm on our positions and cannot seem to resolve our differences on this. 
 

Is there a solution that we haven’t thought of?  I’m looking for any kind of new idea to throw into the discussion!

Thanks,

Craig

Hi Craig,

First of all,  a middle name is rarely used throughout one’s life. Usually only on two occasions: when you’re in trouble with your parents, and when you’re getting married. So it should not really be a huge point of contention. You mentioned that you “fear” the second name will be neglected and it would be a slight to your grandfather. Honestly, he can’t be slighted if he’s gone.  That’s only how you would feel.

I, myself, am not a big fan of two (or more) middle names.  It almost always comes out of a name conflict, like your predicament. Here is a new idea: combine both grandfathers’ names. How about Callen or Callan?  

If you don’t like Callan, come up with some other names that would combine elements of Casper and Allen.  To honor them, it does not have to be literal.

Sincerely,

Jennifer

 

Headshot of Jennifer Moss

Jennifer Moss (she/her) is the founder of BabyNames.com, author of The Baby Names Workbook, and Producer of The Baby Names Podcast. Jennifer is widely regarded as the leading expert on popular baby name trends and the naming process, serving as the authoritative source on the subject for national and international media.

Jennifer entered the tech arena in the 80s as a software developer and database architect, and became a pioneer in the Internet industry. In addition to operating BabyNames.com, Jennifer owns a web development agency in central California.