Dear Jennifer,

I’m at wit’s end. I though we had settled on a baby name (Charlotte Avery), but then one day my husband said he didn’t like it and we should keep looking. The problem is, every name I come up with he says he doesn’t like. We’ve got one month to go and I’m panicking. What should I do?


Frustrated in Fresno

Dear Frustrated,

Sounds like your husband has a lot of power in this process! As I describe in my new book, The Baby Names Workbook, baby naming rarely works if one parent is doing all the suggesting and the other parent has “veto power.” Both parents have to be active in the naming process.

I suggest you try several things:

1. Carve out time for what I call “name storming” – a quiet time the two of you can sit down and just brainstorm baby names. He has to be as committed to the process as you are. If you have kids, give them to a family member or neighbor during this time. No interruptions.

2. Make sure you both come to the table with names. Either give him his own copy of  The Baby Names Workbook or just a blank sheet of paper. Tell him to come to the baby naming session with 10 names–and that’s first and middle!  That way the work is equitable.

3. Start asking him about his family tree and family names. If he feels you are interested in “his side” of the family history, he might be more interested in the baby’s name.

If none of those work, then I’d say there’s more going on than just baby naming…

Good luck and let me know what you (both) choose!



Jennifer Moss (she/her) is the founder of, author of The Baby Names Workbook, and Producer of The Baby Names Podcast. Jennifer is widely regarded as the leading expert on popular baby name trends and the naming process, serving as the authoritative source on the subject for national and international media.

Jennifer entered the tech arena in the 80s as a software developer and database architect, and became a pioneer in the Internet industry. In addition to operating, Jennifer owns a web development agency in central California.