Dear Jennifer,

After a long and painful decision-making process, I think we’ve settled on Lydia and Quentin for our g/b twins.  Since the kids will get my husband’s last name, I’d like to honor my family in middle names.  My maiden name won’t work, and my parents don’t like their own first names.  I’m thinking of using my parents’ middle names as middle names for the twins.  Those names are Kay and Wayne.

Dear Amy,

Historically, “honoring” someone in the naming biz does not necessarily mean using their exact name.  In the Jewish culture, for example, you may not name a child after a living person.  So to honor a loved one who is still living, we use a similar name or name that starts with the same letter.

You have more leeway with middle names, also, since the child will not readily be identified with it and it will be rarely used.

So in conclusion, do what you want, and spell it the way you want to spell it. Beware of too much input.

Sincerely,

Jennifer