I have 3 kids with 1 more on the way and I am 34, my oldest kid being 10. I have twin 5 year old girls and they are ALWAYS out of control — do I spank them or what?

Please write back.

Kaylah

Dear Friend,

I don’t believe in spanking children, mainly because I see it as being unfair to the child with someone older bullying someone younger. It also rarely changes behavior. The best way to twin-948721_640change behavior is to praise behavior that is acceptable. Parents think that disciplining children consists of yelling and punishing kids for unacceptable behavior, when in reality it is pointing out firmly and gently unacceptable behavior, having consequences for that behavior, and praising kids for the good job of changing to acceptable behavior. You might want to look into a parenting group for support and ideas on disciplining problems. Another idea is to find a parenting group for parents of multiples. These can be very helpful and no one gives advice better than someone else who also walks in your shoes, and that would be other parents of twins.

I wish you the best.
GM

Old woman smiling

Peggy Moss (she/her), AKA "Grandma Maggie," was was a partner in BabyNames.com after she retired as an early childhood educator. Her Q&A column "Ask Grandma Maggie" is now republished with the best of Grandma Maggie’s parenting and childcare advice. She has written many eBooks about parenting issues, available at Amazon.com.

Peggy, who passed in 2014, was mother to Sue, Kate, Jennifer, and Mallory Moss, and grandmother to Ike, Peter, Miranda, and Veronica.