Aloha,

I’m engaged to a wonderful man. He’s always helpful and respectful. He has 3 little girls ages from 6 years to 10 years old. He finely got custodial custody of his girls. The girls have been in CPS previously. Now these girls are living with us. That’s great, don’t get me wrong. What I’m trying to say is ever since the girls came home and lived with us there have been a lot of problems. They would go to school and tell my nephews that I starve them and beat them up. I’m so tired of their lies and stealing and sassiness. The father knows what they’re doing and caught them in their lies. He always stands by them and not by my side. I suggested we go to counseling or classes for parenting skills.

My heart is broken. I know they were in the system and even the system backs them up. I brought the evidence forward of the stolen items and only what they could say was maybe they need more family time. I came to the point that every time money or valuables were missing I would call the police department to do a documentation and items that was stolen take pictures of it, just to protect me. Please what kind of advice can you give me.

Friend,

My first suggestion is to stop the engagement until this is all worked through. Your instinct is right. You all need counseling and parenting classes. If your fiance is not willing to do this, then that is additional information on what kind of a parent he will continue to be. You can either go on your own so you get support and guidance on how to handle the three girls or you decide this is a totally bad deal and take yourself out of it.

Good luck,

Grandma Maggie

 

Peggy Moss, AKA "Grandma Maggie," was was a partner in BabyNames.com after she retired as an early childhood educator. Her Q&A column "Ask Grandma Maggie" is now republished with the best of Grandma Maggie’s parenting and childcare advice. She has written many eBooks about parenting issues, available at Amazon.com.

Peggy, who passed in 2014, was mother to Sue, Kate, Jennifer, and Mallory Moss, and grandmother to Ike, Peter, Miranda, and Veronica.