Dear Grandma:

My daughter is almost 4 and she was really good at going to the toilet. However, in the last month or so, she has started having accidents. This is only when she is at home with me. I am due with a new baby in 2 months and I really want to get this sorted out asap. I was thinking of making a reward chart again for a while? Have you any suggestions?

Regards, Fiona

Dear Fiona,

My thoughts are your daughter is maybe a bit angry at you for having another new baby. Your best bet might be to ignore the accidents and let her take care of them herself, asking her to just tell you if she needs help. I believe many urinating and eating issues usually are issues of control. Tell her where the clean undies are and where to put the wet ones. Tell her you know she will stop having accidents when she is ready, and then turn it over to her. Hope this helps.

With Love,
Grandma Maggie

Old woman smiling

Peggy Moss (she/her), AKA "Grandma Maggie," was was a partner in BabyNames.com after she retired as an early childhood educator. Her Q&A column "Ask Grandma Maggie" is now republished with the best of Grandma Maggie’s parenting and childcare advice. She has written many eBooks about parenting issues, available at Amazon.com.

Peggy, who passed in 2014, was mother to Sue, Kate, Jennifer, and Mallory Moss, and grandmother to Ike, Peter, Miranda, and Veronica.