Hi Grandma,

I have a 9 months old son, have not been the one taking care of him but my mum has done that. It’s because I am a working class mother. I need to start taking care of him myself as soon as he’s one. Please, I need your candid advice as it bothers me that I have not really been there for him. babytoy

Dear Friend,

I don’t know the circumstances of your absence from your son’s life for last 9 months, but you were fortunate to have your mother there to sit-in for you.

My suggestion is to ask your mother if she will help you ease into his life before you have to take over completely — sort of show you the ropes and allow him to get used to you. You will have to know his schedule and what he needs when he cries. It also helps to know where he is in his development and what this child might need next.

Visit your local library and borrow the Dr. Brazelton book called The Child from Birth to Three.

I wish you the best.

Grandma Maggie

Old woman smiling

Peggy Moss (she/her), AKA "Grandma Maggie," was was a partner in BabyNames.com after she retired as an early childhood educator. Her Q&A column "Ask Grandma Maggie" is now republished with the best of Grandma Maggie’s parenting and childcare advice. She has written many eBooks about parenting issues, available at Amazon.com.

Peggy, who passed in 2014, was mother to Sue, Kate, Jennifer, and Mallory Moss, and grandmother to Ike, Peter, Miranda, and Veronica.