Dear Grandma,

I know your questions are for parents and parents-to-be, but I work with infants at a child care place. What is a good way for “weaning” an infant from wanting to be held all the time? 

 I have a 10-month-old who has not been in daycare before and his mom admits to him being held most of his life. He shows signs of being another sweet little boy who likes to snuggle, but right now he has to be held or he follows me around crying. Do you have any suggestions or am I to just wait this out and hope for the best?

Thanks for anything you can offer me,

Lindsay

Dear Lindsay,

Probably the best idea is to find a project for the older ones that can include the younger one sitting next to you on the floor or at a project table. The good news is that this passes in time for most children. I say most because some always remain clingy. Some are easily maintained by merely voice contact after a certain age. Each child is so different and just as you devise a solution that helps with one babe, another arises for either that one or one of his playmates.

I also noted when I had a child like this in day care, the older children understood and offered him attention when I was busy with another child. They also seemed to understand that this child needed me more at that moment, and they trusted me to get to them asap. When he does step away, you may feel the thrill I felt when a child said to me, “Look, Baba, Andrew is walking away from you. Good job, Andrew!” We all clapped and he smiled and we had a party. It was one of those wonderful moments!

You sound very tuned in to the children in your care and that’s to the advantage of all of you.

Good luck!
Grandma Maggie

Peggy Moss, AKA "Grandma Maggie," was was a partner in BabyNames.com after she retired as an early childhood educator. Her Q&A column "Ask Grandma Maggie" is now republished with the best of Grandma Maggie’s parenting and childcare advice. She has written many eBooks about parenting issues, available at Amazon.com.

Peggy, who passed in 2014, was mother to Sue, Kate, Jennifer, and Mallory Moss, and grandmother to Ike, Peter, Miranda, and Veronica.